life is more fun at the edge of your comfort zone

 

Me: No it's ok I'll be alright I don't wanna burden you with my emotional garbage don't worry

Me: FRIEND IS SAD? TELL ME EVERYTHING. DON'T HOLD BACK. I'M HERE FOR YOU. DO YOU WANT ICE CREAM? BLANKET? I'VE CLEARED THE NEXT 5 HOURS OF MY SCHEDULE, TALK TO ME. I BROUGHT OREOS.

certifiedbottom:

i cant believe oprah just changed math forever and theres nothing we can do about it

(Source: versaceslut)

police officer: you're under arrest for shooting someone in the chest

me: whoever made the rhyme did the crime(:

police officer: haha i have to give you credit for that one dude you're off the hook

lohanthony:

mtv:

sorry 2 my current BFFs, i have a new BFF

I LOVE YOU MTV i look like swine